Buddhists Do Scratch Their Heads Too

I am busy. I have been inducing myself to lots of endorphin-releasing activities lately because I have pre-calculated that if I don't start working on this rusty endorphin-producing body of mine, my mom might just catch me dead inside the room one of these days out of depression and I imagine it to be very very horrible.

Cause of death - broken skull. I am going to drop my skull hard on the floor because the rope I am going to hang on the ceiling couldn't support my overweight body. In effect, I drop my head down to the floor and break my skull instead. A girl seen dead inside her room. With a broken rope attached to her neck.

Now that is something I wouldn't want to happen, do I? If I am going to die, I want to at least maintain a little bit of dignity. With those thoughts in mind, immediately, I erased the idea of wanting to die.

Rather, these...

News #1
I bought a brand new digital SLR camera. People have been asking since when did I grow a sudden penchant for taking pictures, which is very disappointing, especially when the one asking is my brother who has seen me outgrow my baby fats to adult fats. Sudden penchant? This is so much like asking me, "milktea, since when did you like milktea?"

I have long been a wannabe photographer. It's a secret passion of mine to stalk random photoblogs. Of course, I do not know whether I have the ability to take great photos. But if I do appreciate looking at them to the point of stalking, then I believe I am on my first step already.

So to the people who have been wondering, yes, I do like photography. This is not a sudden impulse as it is beyond my personality to act on impulse. I am known for my attitude to delay, escape, hide, pretend, whine but never to anything that relates to impulse.

News #2
Because I have a brand new SLR camera and I am not really very familiar with the manual options yet, I need to take a photography class. Hopefully, there will be lots of quirky events in the upcoming months that I can record down. Plus lots of pictures! :)

News #3
For the past few weeks, I have been eating sandwich for lunch. This is deemed to be weird by most people. Because while everyone goes to the office cafeteria to have lunch, I prefer to stay at my desk and munch on my sandwich. My reason, the food in the cafeteria sucks so much that I'd rather eat a peanut butter sandwich.

When I told my friends about this, they all gave me that awww-poor-girl-you-have-no-friends look as if I'm someone who deserves a lot of sympathy for having no one to go to lunch with. Firstly, it's not that I do not have colleagues to go to lunch with, it is simply my aversion to the cafeteria's food outweighs anything. I am just not willing to spend money, even for a small amount, for a plate of trash. So, I honestly think I am making a wise decision, am I not?

News #4
Based from my personal experience, never ever let your boss find out how fast you finish your work. Because if he finds out that you can finish your job in half the time he expects you, then you will be bombarded with a lot more that your teammates cannot finish. Come deadline, everyone will be relaxing and you'll end up taking responsibility for every single task that's supposed to be evenly spreaded throughout the entire team.

Lately, I am forgetting what I' learned from the past. I am finishing up all my tasks quickly and the boss started hinting that his plan to hire new members for the team will be postponed since I work fast enough. *pokes myself on the forehead* What does that mean? More work for me but no salary increase. Sometimes, being too responsible is not good too.

My secret plan - to slow down and to read more blogs during office hours.

My car broke down wednesday of last week. In effect, I was very reluctant to go out that saturday night for fear that some serial rapist will pop out of nowhere if the car suddenly broke down. I am worried he might hurt me, cut my fingers or pinch my butt.

Thirty minutes of cussing and throwing fit after, I finally decided to take the risk and use the car in my pursuit to actually get a life on a weekend. I figured life can't be that mean to me. Besides, I am bringing a racket as my weapon.

It's a monday now and I'm back at work blogging, with 10 fingers still very much kicking, no mutations whatsoever. And still very much a virgin.

Presenting... tandadadan!

Ok, I am too tired to make this beautiful. These are the artworks I managed to collect. I initially planned to write some comments but i'd rather you guys say something instead. What do you think? Which is your favorite???? :)

Pics can also be viewed here...

By: AngKuKueh

By: Bittersweet

By: d

By InMyLife

By: jackal

By: Mis_nomer

Above 2 By: Irene

By: Colin

By: Jenius (former winner)

By: Zhebin

If you are the kind of employee who eternally complains about your boss hating you, chances are you and the incompetitive girl at the deli I frequent, who also by the way just caused my innocent lungs to suddenly run out of oxygen while waiting for her to prepare my seafood sandwich, are long-lost siblings. 

There's a buddhist teaching I recently read about attaining happiness at work. The secret is simply to be an indispensable employee. In other words, be the kind of employee who creates a remarkable IMPACT. Be someone who will make everyone PANIC and go gaga once you leave the company. Once you reach that stage, there is no stopping your boss from liking you and giving you a pay increase even if you have halitosis or fart a lot.

So the next time you think life is unfair and wonder why everyone at work maintains a good relationship with the boss, don't push the blame at your co-workers being ass-kissers. Remember the sandwich girl. I am not her boss but I already hate her. Can you blame your boss if he hates you too?

The day before my birthday, I cried.

For the following reasons:
1. I am turning 27 and I have never fit into a 25-inch jeans.

2. My secret plan failed. For those of you who have been threating my feeble life for the past few months to reveal, the secret plan involves moving from one part of the world to another. Don't ask where because I am not keen on revealing that part.

I need a license to do that. Unfortunately, the plan I devised over the last few months did not work and time was my enemy. Time, which is something I totally have no control of, rubbed another painful truth to my chubby face that plan alone is not enough.

You need time and maybe a little bit of luck and maybe a dash of salt here and pepper there and some other spices that I probably have  yet to find out.

This means there's going to be a lot of waiting on my part. Ouch! Also, it means my plan to move will be postponed indefinitely. Another Ouch. Gawd, I feel like killing myself.

To give you a clearer picture, imagine feeling a rush of excitement on your way home because you have a box of cheesecake waiting for you. You've already formed pictures of yourself brewing a hot cup of green tea to go with your cheesecake while you watch the show "Who's line is it anyway?". The plan was perfect. Only, you realize once you arrive home that the dog ate your cheesecake away and you're left with an empty cake box, some stale bread and a jar of expired cheese spread for your dinner. Plan aborted.

That's how I feel right now. Ego completely destroyed, dreams shattered, pride devastated and most of all stomache cheesecake-less.

A perfect recipe of shattered dreams.

3. The ugly tenants who live upstairs love to sing karaoke. As expected, they are a bunch of talentless guys whose sole purpose is to make people believe that singing equates to poetry-reading. Their off-key tunes become especially magnified everytime I am inside the bathroom taking a shower.

Everyday they ruin at least one song and insult at least one great composer. Also, they make my poor green tea soap innocently undergo unnecessary torture from me as it becomes the target of my wrath while I witness a song being butchered.

Once these singing twits irked me so bad that when I stepped out of the bathroom, I warned everyone in the house to keep all the donuts out of my sight. Because if I ever hear another song being ruined, just one song and I don't care if it's a Celine Dion song, bloodshed will take place and there will be thousands of donuts stuffed on these peoples's mouths. I swear I am going to let them die of sugar overdose.

4. I am being barked by 10 dogs when I am asleep. And when you are 27, shattered because the only major plan you've ever made in your life fails, and has a bunch of monkey neighbors who sing off-key tunes that you can't even stab or stuff a dozen of donuts on their mouths with, the last thing you need are dogs distracting your already distracted sleep.

Sad life, isn't it?

The funny thing is, when I met up with my friends over the weekend to celebrate my birthday, they all complimented how great I looked and whether there is something that is inspiring me lately. That, my friends, is what I call a real talent to mask the true self.

ha!

Again, ha! *pause* ha!

Another one, ha! *pause* ha! *pause* ha!

(These evil laughs are suppose to be sarcastic if you don't get it.)

Just imagine how much gorgeous will I look had I not been this devastated. Enough of comforting myself. Forgive me, it's my birthday.

Happy 27th Birthday to Me.

Things will turn out fine, I am one hundred and one point ninety nine percent sure. Group Hug.

PS. I got some awesome birthday artworks to post. I will try to share them this week if God forbids. Stay Tuned.