Buddhists Do Scratch Their Heads Too

Who says there's no drawing campaign? I wish to just let my birthday end like any ordinary day but I am too self-absorbed. I will be needing your help now.

If you are someone like me who is bored and have many free time to spare and wishes to make someone (namely Milktea) happy, why don't you join the Milktea's Birthday Exhibit 2007?

You don't need to be Leonardo da Vinci's great great grandchild to join. I promise even your dog can be a part of this and you'll have lots of fun (realizing you actually have the talent!)

The rules:

1. Draw something. It can be done manually (of course you have to scan it afterwards) or you can use adobe photoshop, ms paint or corel. You can also use artpad online.
2. Put in some color. Write some nice words. Make it cute. Make it lovely. Let your imagination flourish.
   
3. The theme is, as usual, make milktea happy. As you know, I am a very easily amused person so it can't be that hard. Try me.
   
4. Send it to soymilktea(at)gmail(dot)com or if you are using artpad, you can also leave the url as a comment.
5. That's it. No other requirements. In fact, feel free to make up your own rule. I am very versatile.
   

Remember, your artwork does not even have to look like an object. You can draw a piece of orange that looks like a bra or a cup of green tea ice cream that looks like a cellular phone and I will appreciate it all the same. Even a triangular ball or a pot of poop will do. Just make sure to put in some nice words and color.

On my birthday, I will compile and post all your artworks here and we'll vote for a winner. Last year, I spent three sleepless nights just compiling the artworks. This year, I am willing to spare more sleepless nights for this exhibit.

So hurry!!! Start drawing and send it at soymilktea(at)gmail(dot)com. It won't hurt you. It will only make me and you happy. This is a good deal. Trust me.

For more details of the mechanics, which isn't strictly followed anyway, read Make Milktea Happy Project 2005.

To view the first birthday exhibit, where I compiled all your artworks, read Birthday Exhibit 2006.

Now, just to give you a sneak preview. Here's the winner last year sent by the the very talented and lovely Jenius. Jenius used artpad.  Beat that.

Dear Blog,

Are you sure you regularly check your inbox? If not, let me resend this letter I mailed to you a few months back. I want you to read it and do something about it.

I am tired of trying to please myself. It's your turn now.

Also, July 10 will be my 27th birthday. I want you to make sure that I am happy that day and happy hormones will be pouring like the flakes of dandruff in my hair.

Please get your heavy ass moving as early as now.

Love,
Milktea

1. I have a new job. That means there will be less time for blogging and more time for pretensions and by that I mean acting brilliant in front of my boss just as I had marketed myself during the job interview. Also, I am happy. Because the new job is not a night shift. That means I won't be missing any shower time. ha!ha!ha!

2. My scalp is infested with dandruff. It is so itchy I have been pulling my hair non-stop for the last few days. I am rather surprised I still have hair now.

3. I am losing my peace of mind. As far as I know, only people who have done something exceptionally bad go through this. Except for eating too much junk food, cheating on my diet and not having gone to the gym for three months now, I don't remember committing anything bad. But of course, not remember anything is another story. It will not change the fact that my peace of mind is still missing.

The other day, I grabbed a buddhism book from my book shelf and started reading it in hopes of bringing back my peace. The book promotes meditation by chanting a line "nam-myoho-renge-kyo" continuously. According to the author, chanting this line will draw you closer to enlightenment. He suggested that for beginners chanting the line every morning for 5 mintues would be a good start.

I've been chanting it for 2 days now every morning at the shower. I hope Buddha doesn't mind me doing it naked.

Milktea has a terrible headache. She's carrying a gigantic watermelon in her head and it's too big to fit in.

A few months ago, we bought two extra large closets to replace the old one, which my mom has been forcing us to use albeit its existence for more than 30 years now. According to her, she is reluctant to give the old one away because it is very expensive and is made of high quality wood. Also, it is her wedding dowry that's why. Again, it's not that I enjoy reiterating this but the closet is as old as The Beatles.

For the past few years, my brothers and I continued to use the 30 year old closet even if only one side has a door and the other has none. Not to mention that almost fifty percent of its contents are either unusable or as old as the owner. We were obedient. If my mom says it's still useable, there's no reason not to believe her.

For some unknown reason one sunny afternoon, something made my mom decide and agreed to throw it away. She said it's too unbearable already and she didn't care anymore if it's even made of high quality wood. She want to throw it away. I don't know how but whatever that thing is that convinced her, I want to thank her and give her a big warm fat-squeezing hug.

Of course prior to the arrival of the new ones, I had to throw away a pile of old stuff I have stocked up as a child. Some of it are notes that my friends wrote to me on a tissue paper when they were bored during class. Some of it are headless hello kitty keychains. Some of it are double AA batteries covered in rust. Some of it are, well, simply unidentifeable. Meaning, I can't really decide whether it's a pen or a knife. Enough. Just calculating how much worth of precious things I threw pains my heart.

When the new closet arrived, It took me more than an hour to arrange the surviving things in order. I promised myself to keep it that way for the next few years to come. Afterall, I am 27 this year and I need to act like a normal lady. As my mom would always rebuke, "Who would marry such a sloppy girl like you? Look what you've done to your closet? Books piled up with baby powder? Such a mess! I bet your future mother-in-law would not like what she's going to see." 

Honestly, I am worried. I am worried not because my future mother-in-law would not like me but I am worried that the day would not come. ha!ha!ha! I can't even find a decent boyfriend, let alone a mother-in-law to dislike me. But who cares, "This is the time I will prove my mother wrong", I thought to myself.

One month after, I can't find a bottle of cologne without removing everything out. Let's not talk about how I put them back in a span of one minute. That's a different story altogether.

Clearly, it doesn't only pain my heart to think that I've thrown so many precious things in the process. It also pains my heart to admit that, sadly, my mom's words are true. Yes, I am just as sloppy as when I was still using the 30 year old closet. It makes no difference.

Dear frontdesk clerk at XXX Company,

I don't like you. Just because I am a job applicant does not make you any more superior than me. When I arrived, you were not doing anything. You were not even filing your nails or retouching your make-up. Of course I give you credit for that.

But admit it, you were not swamped with work just as you wanted to project it. Anybody with a pair of decent eyes, even as small as mine, can see that. Heck, even the blind singer at the subway station knows that.

You could have dialed the phone right away the moment I told you my contact's name and informed her to come out and meet me. It will only take less than one minute of your time. You know that.

But no, you are one hell of a busy girl. You chose to chat nonsense and flirt with a guy who's not even good-looking first. Then you tactically wasted 35 freaking more minutes doing shit flipping files moving around before you decide to pick up the phone and call my contact person, which as I predicted only took you less than a minute.

You practically stole 35 precious minutes from me all because of your work ethics deficiency. I don't know what is the logic behind this - letting applicants wait and acting busy. I do know however that you deserve one ugly blog post telling the whole world of your ugliness and a curse that you will never lose weight ever even as you go on a southbeach diet.

I am truly sorry if I have to put you in such a difficult situation. See,  I  cannot tolerate ugly girls who have attitude problems. Blame it on my situation, maybe I'm just freaking sick of all this job-hunting bullshit and you were one of those innocent people who hit my roof. 

Please fix yourself miss ugly. At least if not your face, your acting skills.

Love,
Milktea